The Idea of Living Together

Most of the people who opt for the idea of living together before marriage have poor communication skills with each other. Living together does not present a good avenue for most couples to talk about personal problems or concerns that may be having. They may feel that their problems are personal, and the other partner does not have to hear about them or that it is “none of their business.” Married people communicate better, bearing in mind that your partner’s problems affect you in one way or another. Living together, as we have seen, carries with it some communication problems which might translate into marriage. It is not all cases that will end up like June and Christopher’s relationship. One will continue to act in much the same way as before, therefore, making your relationship more vulnerable to more problems and divorce if they get married at some point after cohabitation. Living together also allows a person to take advantage of the other by manipulating and using them in a certain way that is beneficial to them, for example, getting gifts and other valuable things from them.

I call upon those who seem to criticize marriage before they experience it to stop because they are working on an assumption regarding that sanctity. Commitment gives a new definition and meaning to a relationship. Unlike living together which might be ended by small hiccups, marriage is a strong entity which endures so many challenges. Since those who live together are bound by some commitment, I call upon them to legalize their relationship in to marriage. It is not too late.

Having looked at and put into consideration all these factors, my opinion still remain that of marriage. Personally, I am not married, but when the time to make a decision between living together or getting married comes, I will opt for the second one. This is because marriage is a lifetime commitment and that my partner will not alight anyhow because we have that bond. I believe living together, despite being not biblical, has no permanency at all.

The law of nature asserts that nothing is to be trashed before being given a chance to defend itself. In this case, in as much as I am for the idea of marriage, those who choose to live together also have tangible reasons that inform their decisions. In this section, therefore, I will highlight some of these reasons. It should be, however, noted that, before embarking on this paper, I had made thorough research on the two subjects under discussion. The conclusion I arrived at has marriage still dominant over living together. In the past, a couple would never even fathom the idea of living together without first getting married. In my observation, the contrary has taken place; more and more couples opt for the idea of having trial marriages by living together before walking down the isle if ever.

This choice is informed by a number of issues, which if one chooses marriage, will be detrimental to him or her. Financial and social issues are at the core of informing this decision, and explain the drastic change of heart by many people. Many people, especially the young couples, ignore their elders’ advices and give an approach to the subject of marriage which they perceive is appropriate according to their lifestyles. Financial part of marriage, which is more common, does not in the first place as a wise alternative to living together. Consider, for instance, marriage to a man or a woman who has an enormous amount of debts. In this case, these debts will be translated to the other partner. Marriage also provides that both partners income are taken into account when applying for loans, grants, state sponsored help like energy and food assistance. These are just but a few shortcomings that drive most people not to marry.

In other instances, couples opt to living together as opposed to marriage because of the cost and the hectic process of divorce. The financial implications of divorce, the time consumed in the process, and the paperwork involved in trying to break up a marriage makes one shun the idea of marrying.

Pagan marriages where couples stand in front of their friends and their god to pledge the love and devotion for each other is also common in the society as opposed to legal marriages. In these arrangements, a couple pilots living together for a year and if everything works out, it renews their commitments once again. On the other hand, if the arrangement does not work, they call quits the relationship and whatever material possessions they came into it without any foul or harm. This tradition has been in practice for a long period of time than the traditional, legal, marriages where once you tie the knot, your debts and half of everything you own belongs to the other person.

While it may seem modern and hip not to care about these things, they are all extremely important. No one ever knows what kind of situation they will find themselves in even within hours after making a commitment through a legal marriage. On the other hand, it is very true that you never certainly know someone until you live with them. People have all sorts of pet peeves and nasty habits and quirks and baggage they bring with them into a relationship (Goldstein, 509). Some of those things can eventually be tolerated and some can not. Most people put their best foot forward in the early stages and then begin to relax.

In conclusion, I have always trivialized marriage versus living together thinking that the subject is given much hyped attention. It was until recently that I met with June and Christopher and came across Catherine and Michaels’ story. These touching narrations made me critically reflect and analyze the issue. The desire to research and write this paper concerning marriage versus living together was hatched by the two incidences. In this paper where I gave marriage a preference to living together, I have discussed a range of issues regarding the subject. This ranges from an overview of marriage versus living together, the weighty issues that marriage presents, and also some benefits of living together. In comparison, marriage seems to me to be appropriate to living together.

To draw the curtains, marriage has a positive effect on those people who have not lived together. This is because they are aware that they will spend the rest of their lives together; therefore, they strive to create a lifestyle that is compatible from the first day. On the other hand, marriage has a negative effect on those used to the habit of cohabitation. They accord commitment to marriage little priority. Deep within, they feel that they had already passed the test, and further accommodation is of no essence. The idea that their spouse will not leave since they are married even makes it worse. Choose marriage for a better and satisfying life.